my companion, you meet me in the silence though i do not hear your voice.
i can sense you in redemption, but it often looks much different than i had--
expected,
than i had hoped.

my companion, how i long to understand your goodness--to believe.

i find myself--
retrieving yesterday's faith for today.
retrieving someone else's faith for mine,
borrowing to face the day.

my companion, here i am on crumpled knees, silent now upon the floor,
staring at my own humility.
feeling ever-unclothed, i have run across the web of community,
sheepish at my nakedness,
my mind a crumpled mess,
caught in the weariness of selfish reflection.

my companion, i think of you through the watches of the night.
like the sages of old, my bed is wet with tears, waiting--
waiting--
waiting, for i am forsaken.

my companion, oh lifter of my head, i am crumpled on my knees.